Hello my beloved friends!!!

   it's been a long time since last wrote a blog.. or maybe the fact is i'm lazy to wite one.. lolz....

   It's been 2 months since i left SG for my training here in AUSTRALIA, Pearce. I dun deny that it's been tough but also not really that hard too.... or maybe the tough part is yet to come.

   These 2 months has some how made me think alot. it is totally different from the 2 yrs i had in Commandos where everyone just wanna finish serving their NS time and just ORD. Here is totally different.... well how should i put it. This career is a Sign on career meaning u could choose not to sign up for it(DUH.....). But i've came to realise that almost 70% to 80% of the people that sign up doesn't have the passion to fly. Well you guys might think that that's their problem and i just do my own stuff. but that's easier said then done.

   Sometimes it's becoz the people who have second doubts and money minded are your coursemates and sometimes the other thoughts and ideas just plays with your own thoughts making the easy for the devil to deceive u. Yup.. that's the kind of shit that's been going around for me.... trying to keep my passion for flying HIGH and getting strength from GOD.

   I've come to also realise that i've changed. i can honestly say that i have just started growing up to be an adult. Why i say so.... when i was in secondary sch, my mum always told me to study hard and get a good eductaion for my own good. But the funny thing about then was somehow the importance of working hard just did hit me even when i was in POLY. wierd huh.... but ONLY coming here then i realise how much i am willing to drill myself to study not becoz i signed up for this career but becoz I FINALLY realise my passion about FLYING and it's beauty of it(sound GAY huh??). But it's true... the feeling of wanting to work hard for something that really means so much to u. Just like how much u are willing to change for that someone u love whether if it's the GIRL that you love or GOD. IT's all the same.

   Flying really means so much to me as how XH means so much to me (but of coz no matter what both are still different... hehe)... I pray so hard for things to run smoothly and also praying for strength to carry me thru this 10 mths.

   oh well... my growing up has just begun... i still have much to learn from this JOURNEY that i have embarked into....

haiz.... it's been a lazy week for the past few days... well.. things hasn't really been all that smooth for me. this month.

First is my driving test which i didn't pass, dun ask me how come or what went wrong... i can just give you guys a summary and that is i felt vey "YUAN WANG"

Next was my admission to NTU... got a letter of REJECTION letter 2 days ago...

these doesn't help very much with the fact that i'm going away for about 1 year in 1 1/2 months time. *sign*

I'm worried for dear.... i'm going to miss her very very much... and i know she going to miss me too. I can't help thinking what am i going to do when that day comes when i hav to leave.... i can't bear to see  her break down to tears... i can only pray that GOD can guide her and take care of her when i'm away.....

Dear.... i know i have'n't been taking good care of u lately... is not that i dun wanna... i just feel lost too... with all these things happening and also worrying for u that i cant take care of u anymore when i'm away :(
i thank u for been there for me when all those things happened... i would have went berserk(just exaggerating hehe...) i'm wanna give u all the best i can give u before i leave to take care of u in everyway i can......

haiz... till den... we will take things slowly ONE step at a time together ya?? I LOVE U!!!

oh well... still got 1 more week of leave..... just gonna see what to do den...

haiz...... just 2 more weeks and 2 more exams and it will all be over... and by GOD's will if he allows me to pass....

it's been so tiring after 2 weeks of super packed schedule packed with exams, projects and presentations day after day.... i pray to GOD that he will give me strength to endure thru these hard times....

Not only has it been tiring.... another problem came just 2 weeks ago.... i just dun know why but i suddenly feel WEAK!!! and i mean physically.... i realised it when 1 fine day after i booked in, i saw the chin-up bar and decided to do a few reps before going up to my bunk. And to my SHOCK, i couldn't even lift myself up!!! that's rite not even 1!!! maybe i was tired after a whole day of playing for worship and all so i decided to try again tomorrow....

As the next day came... i tried doing it again and could only do just one!!! And i was struggling to even get that one chin-up. I really dont know what the heck just happend?!?! just in a matter of 1 month i have drop from a total of 13 chin-ups all the way to ONE!!! So i approached the PTI and he has never come across such case before....

So today i tried doing again.. my friend noticed that my posture while doing chin-up was wierd. he realised that as i was pulling up i was pulling moer on my right side. It seems that my left arm has a problem. BUT the PROBLEM is.... i dont know hat. i dont feel pain or anything. Just that when i try to do something... my left is just useless powerless!!!

To a certain extend... i am feeling scared.... scared in the case i dont know what is going on... so many things has been happening and NOW THIS!!!! I pray so hard that things will turn out fine for my career.... but till this point of time... i just feel.......... weak and lost.............

It's been some time since i last post something well.... I'M BACK!!!!

it's been a crazy rollercoaster ride for in "School" for the past few weeks. Went for my exams, doing my projects and working my my presentations. man.... it just feels like back in my Poly days just that it's more intensive....

Anyway.... i had an encounter today.... it was in the morning when i was waiting for turn to do the practicals and suddenly i just felt like breaking out into tears (but i didn't becoz my friends were around ). Well..... i just most of you guys know how much i really want to fly a fighter. But it was that moment that suddenly i just thought of GOD and my tears was about to burst out becoz when i was thinking about GOD, i was saying in my heart that: "GOD!!! No matter what Vocation a become, i give it all to u!!! it is YOU that we should WANT, no what our OWN selfish wants and desires so that we will be happy"

Then at prayer meeting just now. As i was playing drums while the service was on, i almost break down again but i just held it back(dunno why i held it back either). BUt when i went home and to Pris' house i just break down and let it all out.....

What i wanted to share is that..... although no matter how much we may want certain things in our jobs like promotions, appointments, ranks etc... but when u come to a point and just think through what u really want, u would feel that no mattee what u get it will still be okie becoz whatever things we achieve in life by OUR OWN strength has no meaning and happiness if U dun let GOD choose it for u. BEcoz GOD knows what's best for ya and HE knows where u will be suited and happy. As much as i really wanna fly a Fighter plane but if that's not the place that God wants me to be, then i should be happy with GOD's decision becoz he knows what's best for me and he knows where i would be happy and where he needs me to be used as his tool to share HIS love to others.....

After all these events that he had brought me thru.... i really wanna gives he all the glory and thank HIM for whatever things he had done for me. Where i am now and what i am now is all HIS doing.

Just an encourage and remind everyone out there... Nomatter how "humanly illogical" it might seem to us and sometimes make us wonder: " hmm... why did God do this? why did GOD let me go tthru this and that?" There's always a reason behind HIS work. You may be experiencing some crisis, problems or maybe some hardship and u think that there's no end to it or u just feel helpless... just remember that GOD is doing all this to change/mould/transforming you into someone better den u have ever been. And he is bringing you thru this path and at the end of it there's a treasure/gift/price especially from HIM to YOU!!!!

Hope this post has bless you in anyway and encourage you and hang on that finish line  GOD BLESS!!!!

(taking a deep breathe)....

 man it's been 1 crazy week for me.... on tuesday, i went for my sch's Track and field heats. I took part in the 100m, 200m and Long jump. Well there was no heats for long jump so we competed for the top 3 prizes. afer putting up a good figh, i only acheived 4th place. but i did pretty well for m running heats(although i've never ran in a track and field event in my life before). i qualified for the final which will be on the 16 of Feb.... well let's see how i fair when the time comes.

Not only was the T & F event tiring..... i had 2 presentations to do and 1 exam which is in a few hours time..... man i just brings back memories of my late night studying during my poly days.... well... i thank GOD for blessing me with Wisdom and knowledge to be able to understand my module well. and also teach my coursemates. i just pray hard that i will do well for my exam later. i dun ask for a very high pass... all i pray is that GOD would take control of me and do my exam by his strength and not by mine and to just get a pass. one mustn't be too greedy or demanding.... hehe

haiz.... just pray that all this Ground Sch will just finish faster becoz all these studying has been making me neglect my Dear  .  i know she feels left out and as if i dun care or love her any more but the fact is i'm trying to do well to get thru this phase of "hardship" and at the same time to spend time with her...... despite of how much work i am occupied with... it doesn't mean that all these knowledge that goes into my head wil replace my DEAR... I really wanna work hard to acheive my dream becoz i've always wanted "this career" and also at the same time to provide my Dear with a comfortable life to make sure she will be happy. And another thing is to spread GOD's love into this different part of the people in singapore.

Dear GOD..... i pray for Wisdom, strength and knowlegde to do my exams to the best of my abilties and also depend on ur strength and not mine and to do well thru out my ground sch. I also pray for my friends in my life that whatever troubles and problems that hav may u bless and guide them to the way that u wan us to grow in u. and most of all i pray that Xiuhui and i will endure thru these difficult times where both of us hav to struggle with our own problems like work, financial and family problems. May u watch over us and help us not get drifted away from u......

Okie... time to catch up with the loss time for not updating my blog.

Well... it's been a crazy race for me in school this week. Presentations to finish, exams, datelines to meet. You name it, you get it man. All the stuffs that school can throw to you at one time. But i'm getting on well so far becoz GOD has been there for me without me knowing it. He shows me the way during times of need like preparing like studying and preparing for my projects when you think that there's no way out, the answer/wayout just pops out for you. No things happen by accident!!! Everything that happens whetehr good or bad happens for a reason. So if it's GOD's will that he doesn't want me to fullfill my dream.... well i have to learn to be OBEDIENT towards GOD!!! that's what Pastor Richard Toh was sharing in todays Sermon.

The Altar Call was truely AMAZING!!! When Pastor Richard asked if anyone wants blessing or healing or needs to be prayed for may stepped up to the front. Well at first i just continued singing on stage.... but as i was singing.... i suddenly felt this cold feeling rushing thru my body from bottom up. wierd huh?? but becoz of what Pastor richard preach about being a bit more sensitive to the holy spirit made me think maybe it was a sign/call for me to step down the stage and just stand there and be prayed for. So as i waited down there and just closing my eyes thinking of GOD(although i did not know why in the first place did i walk down stage??), Pastor Eddy came to me and prayed for me. Den suddenly as he was praying, i suddenly just burst out in tears.... and i didn''t know why?? the thing i knew after Pastor Eddy finished praying for me.... i just kneed down onto the floor and just cry for THE LORD's LOVE and EMBRACE!!! just wanting to feel his LOVE reach out for him(and i still didn't know why i went down in the first place... hehe). As i was crying.... 2 brother's came kneeing down beside me and putting their arms around me tyring to comfort me. IT was Daryl and Vincent(I thank GOD for these 2 wonderfull brother-In-Christ)!! they have been a blessing to my life. Not only that Joice came to pray and prayed for me too!!!! 

after having lunch with the guy near church.... Altho i had my presentation to finish.... i still could find time for bowling!!! ya i know... most of you guys think that i'm a Bowling Freak now.. always going bowling so often like no bodies's business.. hehe... well... today's bowling sessions was FUN!!! people like BANI, Natasha, Alisha, Marvin, Daryl and not forgetting my most beloved "Wife-To-be" :) The session sure give me an opportunity to fellowship, catch up and understand Marvin and daryl better.

I really thank God for all the Friends and people that have blessed and changed my life(altho I know it is only GOD who can change one's life). Without them i dun know how am i going to grow in my spiritual life? i'm the kind of person who grows spiritually thru friends......

oh well.... it's getting late liao.... Dear's still outside having fun in WALA WALA..... this is the 1 of few occasions that i let her go out so late and have fun becoz i know she's in safe hands of my friends.... hehe.... hope she doesn't drink too much..... oh well.... i think i will just go on and report to Dreamland....

GOD bless you guys who are reading this blog. I pray for your life to be BLESSED with many good and wonderful suprises!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!! :)

Shit happens again!!!! first the exams, then the presentation, me catching a cold+flu+sore throat and now my dear's crying again!!!

Dear's feeling sad becoz she feels useless and a burden to her family..... i feel such a failure as a BF becoz i've not taken proper care of her since the day she left her job to study... i'm suppose to help her in her financial life but i myself hav trouble trying to settle my own shit!!! i feel that i've let her down..... if i can 't get this rite now, how the hell am i suppose to look after her when we get married!! i really feel like shit being helpless and not being able to help her becoz i'm confined in my living quaters and not able to be by her side when she needs me......

I'm praying so hard that she will get a break thru in in period and that she will not hav to CRY again.... and i oso wanna work hard so as to give dear a happily ever after like i promised her!!!

pls GOD!!! hear our prayers!!! help us thru this times of need and troubles!!

Sigh.... my first blog and i have to write something that is not really happy... It's been 3 weeks since the start of the year and things dun seem to be looking good for me.

First is "School".... just last week the lesson were going in a slightly fast pace and knowing myself well enuff i'm a slow learner. I couldn't absord any shit that was been taught rite in front of my very eyes!!! and what makes it worst is that it seems that i was the only one who didn't understand the lesson whereas the rest of my csemates were answering all the questions asked by the instructors. I felt darn stupid and low of myself... i was fighting a very tough battle to keep praying and tell myself that it was GOD who brought me all the way here to where i am and i should not doubt his promise and faith that he has on me.

Not only has it been tough week for me in "School" but also my LOVE life with my Wife-to-be. I've made her upset and hurt her deep deep a few times in these 2 days. Every time we tok and joke around i will some how without me knowing, say something stupid related to her and upset her. at times i feel that i'm been such a lousy and insensitive BF or Husband-to-be. I'm always the one hurting her.... but i've been trying hard to watch what i say when toking to show her that i'm serious about her and that i'm willing to correct my ways and to make her happy for the rest of her life.

although so many unpleasant things happened since the new year started...  but there are many things that i'm thankfull for. I'm thankful for my NEW family(my csemates) i hav.... people like my best BUDDY Jeremy, Bani, Loo, Seow, Bra, and many more!!! They hav been a blessing to me and hav changed my life. I dun know what i would do without them in my life :)

another thing that i'm thankful of and will always be is my beautiful and wonderful "Wife" that GOD has given me.... i pray that we will make it thru this 2 years and live happily ever after like SHREK and FIONA!!! hehe.......</P>